Reflections on Turning 40 While Single and Childless

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What if I actually did end up being alone? That is why it's so important that Radio 4 is running a documentary on the subject - Family Without A Child - speaking to women who, for whatever reason, have remained childless. Strong women were an asset to the community as exemplified by Khadija and Aisha may Allah be pleased with them. So of course I end up meeting someone when I was 29 and marrying him when I was 32.

In Christian theology, when someone comes to trust in Christ, she becomes a member of the household of faith as an adopted child of God. Thank you for this post. I have two children, and am single I adopted them on my own.

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And quite honestly, I thought I would have children by now. As a child and teenager I dreamed of being a mother. I wanted one of those wonderfully domestic scenes of a large dinner table with a lazy Susan in the middle with hands of all kinds reaching in — boys and girls, biological and adopted children, foster children, and even foreign exchange students. I babysat all the time. When it came to choosing a career I knew I wanted to be a teacher—the perfect career for a woman who wanted to have a family. Somewhere along the line I shed that dream. At times it was a conscious decision; other times not. Part of me reasoned that it was pointless to dream of kids without my husband in the picture — a kind of putting the cart before the horse. Two decades have sped by and I find that thousands of children have sat at desks in front of me in my classroom, but none sit at my dining room table. Last spring, in the middle of Lent, I turned 40. Forty, single and childless. During the course of that Lent, God showed me how He had fulfilled so much of my dream through the thousands of students I had taught over the course of 18 years of teaching in Catholic schools. He would not have given me that gift if I had had my own household brood. Motherhood eluded Still, I miss family life and I do not like living alone. No more transient roommates for me, as they are not at all the same as family who grow together. My next roommate will be my husband. In May I learned that I was the victim of the budget cuts at my school. For the first time since I was 5 I would not be preparing for a school year. And no prospect for a husband in sight. Who knows if I am even able to have children — now or ever. Still, many of the single men I encounter have high on their list the need to have biological children. When I see that requirement on their profiles or hear them speak eagerly about opportunities to play catch with a little boy and dance with a little girl of their own, my heart breaks a little. Nor do I want to be desired or loved for my supposed fertility. How do I live with the idea of disappointing him in his most fundamental desire to have a child? Will he love me for me, with or without children? Forty, single and childless. At other times I feel like the excitement of life is in the past, that my opportunities have passed. Life is full of variety. Biblical women The women of the Bible remind me of this truth. Sarah and Elizabeth were thought to be past the age of child bearing. Deborah was a mighty leader as a judge. Esther was a humble queen. To be honest, I get jealous of Mary at times, being blessed to be a young mother. But she, and the other Biblical women, remind me that God has unique plans for us, and that. Maybe His way includes me being a mother or step-mother someday. Or maybe He is fulfilling that through my former students and my godchildren and nieces. Maybe He has a whole new more glorious plan in mind. With God all things are possible. About Dawn Franzen Dawn-58330 is a woman on a grand adventure. After 18 years as a Catholic school educator and youth minister, God has opened up the road ahead to new endeavors. Her Catholic faith has taken her to areas she never thought possible, and CatholicMatch has been a big part of that. By using all the tools CatholicMatch has, Dawn has reaped more than she thought CatholicMatch had to offer. She enjoys people, is drawn to mountains and rainbows, loves traveling and creating worlds of fiction and still believes in the Goodness of it All.

I bring them gifts, and we play Go Fish using extra large Frozen playing cards. Christine drove her to the hospital and stayed with her through the birth, holding her hand in the delivery room. So of course I end up meeting someone when I was 29 and marrying him when I was 32. At the park, Ellie desperately wanted to ride a rollercoaster for the first time. Of course, a lot can happen over the next 50 years, and maybe we will wind up destitute, old, and wishing we had kids to support us. He laughs at the same jokes his dad does, never withholds a kindness just like his mom, and fights with his sister like any other sibling.